At one time, ooh, let's say 50 years ago, the children of that generation grew up in a community of adults where there was a common understanding about giving way.
It may have been phrased differently when spoken, though. The way I would put it into words was that everyone gives way, or defers, to those who are older or less capable for whatever reason which would include someone managing a pram and having another child in their arms, etc.
The way I learned it also included male deference to female persons of similar age and to pregnant people of any age. Sadly, the abuse received by deferring males from supporters of the feminist movement in the '70s did result in a reluctance among some males to defer to females. But let's call that a separate issue.
The convention of the young deferring to the old is just one option. It could equally be the other way around. However, both understandings have a similar problem - after spending the first half of your life doing the one (younger more often), you are liable to forget that you then become the other (older more often). If you deferred while young, there is a good chance you will continue to defer when much older.
So all thing being equal, you need to live your life with a continuing updating of your reactions to situations. If you have not done this, start on it now. But there is more to it than this.
Whatever the rule in place, problems arise when the understanding changes.
I have lived in a few different countries and I observed that somewhere in the late '80s to mid '90s the convention changed from deference for older to deference for younger.
So a generation later, you are an older person walking on the footpath and there are four younger persons coming towards you, spread across the footpath. What happens? What is your experience of these situations? It may happen that you are in a culture where the convention changed. This means that the older person is never going to get a turn at being deferred to. No fair. Not acceptable.
Well, you can't change the understandings. They are in place. So here are some tips for taking control of the situation.
1. Do not make eye contact with those approaching.
2. Choose a side, left or right, on which you wish to walk and take that approach
3. Look to the other side to which you are walking. If you are walking on the left, turn your head slightly and look to the right, and vice versa. Do it as though you are looking the shop windows or across the street while still walking.
4. Observe out of the corner of your eye the approaching people. In almost all cases they will move to pass you one the side you are looking. Job done.
5. If you do not detect (out of the corner of your eye) this movement. Just stop and continue looking to the same direction, right or left, as though something has caught your interest. The others approaching will go around you, almost always to the side you are looking.
So there you are. Try it out. Try to relearn that you are the one to be deferred to now (if indeed you were brought up with that understanding) and take it if it is not given.
But not in anger or confrontation. Just know that you can control the movements of others from the direction of your glance.
Cool.
